Saturday, October 1, 2011


when i chose my clothes today
i was not thinking of you
but of the root canal my dentist would drill
with this barbed filament
like the challenge in your eye as "omelet" slipped your mouth
and lips that give way to this memory of kitchen perfection and more lips
on soft perfect egg scramble with mushrooms
or on mine
as his latex gloved fingers gently pry apart my parched mouth to
free me from the silicone monster for which i am thankful
because it replaces the rubber dam as well as the technician

so i chose the pants and sweater that i wore
when we

and as you enter i am occupied
with the task at hand so that
my hyper caffeinated hands won't show a tremble
which they would
had i no distraction
you walk in with the same hat
and pants
that you wore when i first
noticed you
idiosyncratic how we
certainly don't pick our wardrobe thinking of
the other
but somehow it ends up looking that way

and as my Egyptian passion wonders where i am and keeps asking
if the wind blew me away
i regret ever disclosing how much i am
i wonder if this means that we are coming
full circle
on the bench of searchers and sinners and soul farers
whose turn is next?

how can a button hold string?
how does the caged bird sing?
where is the eagle's clipped wing?
when do the snow-flies sting?
why do our voices ring?
why do our soul mates cling?
why do perpetuum mobiles swing?
when does gravel ping?
who is by birthright king?

but all distraction dies
and in this moment lies
the truth
if ever there was time
to stay away
it was now.
as what is left of my nerve comes to life
piercing pain shooting up through my eye across
the forehead into the ear on the other side
turning it purple
the heat in my head cannibalized as i recognize
you, too, remember that day
and how it ended.

a walk in the snow on the unopen road
words of wisdom beyond one's years
free  running tears
a step back up the stairs
dare i remember?