Sunday, May 15, 2011

i am

i am not a poet
i am not a size 14 trying to fit into a size 7 dress
i am just a size 14 on a good day
i am not special
and especially not the pinnacle of your fucked-up-ness

i am not the things you say or think about me
and there is not one label that could fit this qi

the key to me is really not a drawer you can cram me in
for my beliefs are not just the sum of all days that i have lived
this lifetime or any other
nor have my eyes seen and my ears heard and my skin felt all
there is to see hear and feel
and certainly my mind has not captured everything my brain is capable of taking in
and there are more thoughts to think and more to explore

i find it easier to say what i am not
what i want not
what i do not
than what i do or want or am or stand for

i am not white
despite
what you might
perceive
i am pigmentally challenged but some little brown spots remain
of that original healthy coat mother nature gave my archetype ancestor whose remains someone claims
to have found in Tanzania


i don't believe the sermons of mentally challenged character pigs
those guys and gals in suits or torn fashion with costly labels
who tell us to tip toe in six inch heels wearing pencil skirts and luscious wigs
to be good enough or better


i don't belong to those who chose to divide along color lines and rule
to slide into our conscious minds these sushi blades of high and mighty
these lies of i am better than he or she because i own more, am more, am lighter both in pounds and skin tone
because i am not and neither are you


don't sugarcoat me

don't wrap me in pink cotton candy

tell me what you see so I can feel uncomfortable


i've had some skin bubbling lovers in my life
idiotically, the one who gave me the greatest gift, new life,
was the least gifted
tomorrow holds new travel companions

but today, let me give you power
the power of knowledge
for you, until now, are the only one
who made me come
with just your mind, lips and tongue
to a conclusion.