Monday, December 24, 2012


unwife. verb.
opposite of wife. verb. 
in order to unwife a woman, a male human first has to wife her. he wifes her by declaring her his wife, as opposed to his girlfriend, mistress, etc.
once he has found someone else to come home to, the male will unwife the wifed woman in much the same lack of ceremony in which he initially wifed her. whether he tells her, or whether he waits until she asks him, is a question of his integrity, honor, and hustlership. a more experienced male, aka Man, will be ceremonious about it. a small scale wanna-be thugster will clandestinely switch and let the "bitch" find out.

Sunday, December 23, 2012


papa'akin. noun.
term of endearment from venus to mars. a papa'akin can be anything from a happy hustler who wins with smiles and charm doing no harm, to a pogocious player who breaks hearts so sweetly that the shards dance salsa around him, to a polished metrodude with a soul of gold. can't be mad at him long, but he'll try your patience until your temples pop.

now let's use it in a sentence:
"a paved #paradise will pull a papa'akin up."

created by luna_o in the years of grunge, when teen spirit still smelled, after years of misheard lyrics from joni to janet to amy.  

Friday, December 21, 2012


b'zhoolee. noun. 
term of endearment for a unique male person in a powerful, wild, usually older female's life. the male is untamed, but extremely self-controlled. wildly creative, his energy sends him beyond the stratosphere but he recedes into earth's core to regenerate and come to his true self. he is stronger than his fears, but he holds on to those fears as boundaries. all this makes him dear to her, because it reflects her own substance and spirit. a b'zhoolee is a man who brings out all aspects and living forms of womanhood in her. contrary to others, a b'zhoolee might risk a lot but is always aware of what is at stake. ultimately, his leaps propel himself, her, and their connection forward in an upward spiral towards freedom, eden, and fulfillment.

opposite: vesclub clenceno.
created by luna_o on the day the world un-apocalypsed, again, because everyone misread ancient scriptures, again.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

#freedom & #paradise

when i sawmy pics tagged #freedom and #paradise... moved me... to think...this...

#freedom and #paradise are simpler than alaska but easy here

#freedom is mine as i let go of controlling anything and anyone but me

even though someone else gives me
makes me
even though i look forward to spending time with that one
even though no one else makes me feel this way
even though no one else continues to bring out my smile so surely
even though i don't want to miss any moment of togetherness with him

i know i will live if he decides to take all of this away.

i know that the sun will make my eyes sparkle in winter
i know that the moon will stir my imagination any time
i know that a warm breeze will feel like a hug even in solitude
i know that the ocean will always excite me
i know that even without books and the internet

i can go ogle over my doorstep and find magnificence
i can dance through my own world's wide web and be tense as a tightrope with hunger for more knowledge
i can talk to strangers and listen to their stories
i can stand on my head and look at the water faucet upside down
just for perspective

as long as my mind is somewhat obedient to my will

#freedom is mine.

#paradise is
opening my eyes
deciding that my cup is half and filling
hope never dies
dark days help with light appreciation
poverty is relative
bitter winds are here to keep us inside and introspective
remembering #freedom
& that #loving does not depend on receiving #love

as long as i stay free

#paradise is mine.

and both are yours as well.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012


i'd rather fly with you thru hell
than be alone in heaven

when things here seemed to go so well
we fell
up to sky seven

flew then into abysmal light
where darkness' sleight slights
and fights
my knight's night
so i smite
its might
and let my passion leaven
the dough of soul's glow
until we rise
and feed

i will never desert u.

but i need to get out of this funk. don't leave me.

i won't.

don't change your number.

i won't.

love me.

i will. i am.

i will be back.

but then, u dive.

lost in that space again, only my heart knows where.

yes, i still feel u. now and again. no longer asking when
because the demons u see do not exist
as they did not exist then
when he called u

universe:  what is the lesson this time?

coming back 2u ... again?

but we never left.

no one ever loved me like mausebline does. keep him safe. pull him out.


Saturday, November 24, 2012

'nother love rhyme

that moment
iris draws iris
pupil pulls pupil
breaths pause
instants thaw
constants claw
distant applause
extant awe
ellipses of time
eclipse the
situation standing ovation to
not fatal but blatant and flagrant
like jupiter's
and i want 2 say i love u more than the moon
and that i love as much, but more than i love even a loon

but that's not cutting it

like paper the side of my index finger
over and over again, over the years, cut after cut after cut
itch, bleed, heal, itch bleed heal itchbleedheal cut again

what i really feel is....


i like you

i like how you make me feel
i like you like i like my feet that have carried me so many steps that if i'd kept walking straight i might have made it from here to saturn and around its nine rings nine times
cupping its arches like my insecurities in the process of chasing anxieties' demons into hydrogenetic oblivion

orbiting your solidity
i cling to the lava promised in your gaze
wait for that smile to catch my falling self-esteem and bring me
back to life as i never knew it could blossom and steady even in knik glacier winds

exhaling blue bear in
halo under gums into lungs
into me we tumble round and round like shooting stars on
the seventh cusp of summer

ninth ward blues and oranges
two times two times right
two waterways meandering through valleys of life and death
as boulders jut fierce ride4life policies out of the seas of opinions that any
misattitude could concoct like witches brew which is so new
this time around

i like you like i like my eyes blue as skies of september after three nights of less than sufficient rem phase comatose dozing
doses of sanity wrestle insane slices of memory lane in my sleepdeprived fried brain
until my eyes turn green again as sage returns

like them
you change
your Sir-face, but only on surface
from mad hatted youngster to slick mofo gangster to elegant swag starr
and then the sudden gift of an all open gaze in which not only
you C me you see me as i see me and you
and all that is in you, the glow, the gold from within the deepest deep oceanic recess sweeps around which you've built walls over walls
but your secret's safe with me as i am safe with you

i like you like i like my hands
doors to my soul after you gaze thru my windows innuendos waken slumbering fairies of pheromones
jupiter's sixtysix moons dubstepping subdepping clubwebbing popping Io's volcanoes like corn in coconut oil

buttercups spoil a dandelion salad i made to offer your hands slender and long as a violin's neck
and just as musical
not a speck of dust
they must
be feeding the small of my back cool comfort as we walk and talk
plucking the strings of my wings and innermost things
if i am the wind beneath yours
the one who adores
you make me dive onto the ocean's ground
breathing free and jive with subterranean hives
of seahorse and zebrafish
feel alive
test-drive that new sonic sonar sound
segue to harmonic philologies
hip-hopping freestyle analogies
as you mix and spin cirocing anachronistic beats to slinging

your riffs are stiff like turnagain cliffs
killing in cypher like a pro-lifer
picketing those o.b. gyns
no one wins 
except us
ride or die

i like you like i like my mind
fierce yet kind

i look behind
and see our tracks in the sands of time

we be solid.
like a badass RocaRocious freestyle rhyme.

that's deep - a meducation

u say that a lot but
see, when i say that's deep
i mean
what u just said will leap
off the page, is the tip of a peak
so i lean, glean, pulling your fins, reining you in
by the skin on your temple's bling
not gold just perfect eyebrows swooshing in

come sing softly, move
towards me and whisper that beat from your heat to my need
over peat
moss and leaves crossed and
train tracks and brain wrecks
blank checks on bounced decks

i brought you the key
but u had me
before on that chain
lost my train
of thought
strain that caught
salmon king
on sisal string
as humpbacks sing
and swangsters swing
to the drum of my ears' fears
anxiety pierces the walls of trust
so i must
run up that hill
my pump is still
and my breath can chill
at 2 degrees looking down on
myriads of atomic insomniacs
wearing lilacs
on leather straps
dancing on seedy laps
taking them under wraps
folding skin into wax
bees knees bend easily breezy and sleazy

don't know what it means to geave and leave and be a fiend to sheeet

but urban diction taught me today
that kick rocks means get lost
and that there are seven ways to say fuck you
and not all are rude

and then there is "holla"
which should come with intonation guides
for definition number six alone prides three unrelated meanings:
1. hello.
2. i want to get all up in your goodies. who says that?!
or, number 3. good bye.

this serves as a prelude to
all sorts of deluded combabulations and funfaktations
slice of life lice are rife
use your tongue like a knife on this blithe
fakadillio ~ i'm your wyfe4lyfe if u can handle the strife
life in ak is not your average game
watching hulu as i skin a moose with my ulu
and when i hear strip i see little malls losing grip
on small business economy
unless you are living subsistence there's no true autonomy
in this wily land
we measure
wealth and treasure
by the pleasure
we get from breathing ice fog
parting blizzards like floetic wizards
eating salmon dog
call 'em chum or chinook our gargantuan kings
rocking rings of black 'round their bellies when
kiluitchaq* is cooking fireweed jellies
 in august

we swing our hoops those 5 foot loops of gillnet
still wet
a day after the run
comes in at the resting mid july sun
waves of sockeye
thrash by
roll and rock my
neoprene too fly
oversize suit; i'm not sure why
it seems like
there's nothing more sexy
than that salmon heart
and beating for seven more minutes
in my hand
yet committed to ending the journey
not on this gurney of white plastic coolers
but spawn grounds upstream
will never be graced with this rooster's semen

but i gotta go and get my flow from the arctic glow of
aurora at night as my northern starr gleams thru the seams of our
night sky
universes standing by
meteors fly
as i lie
on the snow looking up to see why
we would think to be so special

do you know?

*inupiaq: lock

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

omaha upside down

my child's father's wife
the one he married
after putting us on ice
once said to me
"when love happens it happens"
and then proceeded to tell me that
in the event of a terrorist attack
the city of omaha would flip
like a pancake
and everyone would be safe
and walking upside down

my mind warped at the vision of upsidedownpeople in omaha
but it exhaled at the notion of inevitability
when it comes to love

as if love hits you like a cold virus
or a snow storm

is it really so?

decades later
my mind is still not sure whether
the lady in omaha had a point
for love does not happen to me
like bad weather
or bronchitis

what i do know, though
is that i wish i was in a place
where i could be certain
in the event of a terrorist attack
my town would flip
like a pancake
and we all would be safe
walking upside down

first published by

current current - txt

u ground me
& balance

i would call u the earth
except that’s me
for i b mother earth’s daughter

so u:

r the ocean





ocean holds salt of earth engulfs earth

i m earth

without ur salt

i m not really incomplete, but blah

you complement me, like fingers interlocking
hands docking
glocks cocking
flocks stocking
crocs flocking
we   b   solid and rocking
more than just back & forth

i feel safe with u

dynamic dynamite
i give u raw
u refine
like sugar
off that boat
off that beach

i trust u

i will enjoy ur presence
thrive in ur company

but when i come, i just want to sit and watch
listen to u talk
because u make sense 2 me
ur thoughts r clear & linear
crazy and crystalline
wild and whimsical
trailblazing a forever road through the maze of labyrinthian confusion
never wasting breath, or word
self-correcting retracting fibs that needed to be told
i know
cause u're a guy
and guys go that way

i want to stand and watch
u move
the way u do things
strong man moving handsome confidence

i want to watch
ur hands
skin softer than silk
but beast enough to strangle a Kodiak brown bear if needed

i want to rub ur back n belly n below
stroke every strain, every pain
u ever felt
right out
cause u said u'd do that
for me
n cause i can
n cause i want 2

because when u love me
and hold my head in ur hands
i   m   ur woman
and i belong.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

i should have looked

i should have looked in the mirror today
i might have stayed home.

i do forget what day it is at times,
especially in winter, and when the weekend is done.

this new gas dryer i bought has proven useless to date,
since the delivery people and installation guy told me too late
that there is no line for the hook-up.

so i look up
plumbers, and call,
and they all
are so busy
since "no heat" has befallen all
major households in the valley
and those get first service
while my clothes air-dry
or hair-dry
resulting in cotton pumice

and there it is again
my 2012 substance
for pumice is that
with a bit of extra heat and pressure
we get this little stone to rub our feet
or callous hands

like rough days soften the edges of our souls
reshape our molds
refine our minds
until we find ourselves
beautiful again
in the mirror

i should have looked through the mirror for tomorrow
i might have found home.

Monday, April 30, 2012

mourning cloaks me

mourning cloaks me
as mourning cloaks flutter by

non-dairy butter flies
as i slide up through twin peaks mud

surround sounds surround me
chickadee me
wax their bohemian wings and shrill trills around me
squirrel their barks and bark down the firs
as I wonder why the berries
in this bear's scat
remain undigested
the wolf's worst winks at me with weasel fur
and coyote's looks like Rapunzel's hair

balmy breeze cloaks me now
as I take in the sweet herb of
cottonwood sap in fetal leaves
whose elders rustle and
whisper songs of autumn

day falls
and night breaks the floodgates
of my forgiveness
as the snow beneath my feet
gives way to the hollows of spring

I word process
the process of adding un and dis equals taking away
meaning processed words
such as the unforgivingness of nature
un, not dis, and then forgiveness
for I know that I give this
to lighten my load, not yours
but should I?
or do we grant this ultimate gesture of love
only as requested, deserved?
and then we give ness for whom?

when dis-appointment has us dis-illusioned
and dis-respected
"dis" takes away from the first ism's bliss
or does it?
for illusion taken away is disillusionment, and so does
respect removed become the dis of itself
but who ever appointed anything to reverse it into

my mind is a little spring-warped
so I tread lightly
unlatch my captive senses
from their serendipitous claws
not unlike the bears' trudging before me
wiggling gorgeous golden butts
of skinny spring heiny shininess

blood suckers bug me not today
despite the warmth
and the buttery wetness blanketing
the soon-to-be thirsty trodden trail
for horses and riders
on mosquito storms in nightless days' dusk

mourning still cloaks me
as I descend
but forgiveness's feather pens
on the insides of my eyelids
the poetry of kindness

I read as they shield my pupils
from the roaring mid-April sun.

first published by

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

trust life, she said.

spikes like nyse
dad's heartbeat after seven comatose days and nights
grief peaked joy

so how long will this go on
an architect and a swimmer
back to the drawing board
chased by an indica dad hooked on coffee enemas
and the mad scientist on fuerteventura
and other naked spaniards in the breakfast room
of tenerifanatic january lust

when the apple man with the kangaroo hat
sat down to breakfast with the fact
that is his homely
like his face is his only
for it was an original
the blue bear matrixed into glacier water and milky peppermint tea

do you not see the pattern?

as in every one of these
the horse is chasing the night
while a true knight stands by
waiting his turn
for there is no rush
no impending disaster
for patience is the order of this lifetime
and we shall be found

and as i waken
god says
"good morning"

and tickles my feet

infinity's fins

ring on my finger
infinity's fins
don't you get hung up on stuff
woman asks at costco
i say no
because i don't

flowers and leaves on the other
no one asks about that
but it's pulling my hair out

so as i leave this place
i hurl my infinity's fins at the women
who worry about my getting hung up on stuff
while the magpie picks my rings
off my lovely boney skinless meatless fingers
like fake and bake chicken

scratch that.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Gotye - Somebody that I used to know (Oliver Schories edit)

i was browsing npr and came across this man whose name sounds like gautier and i keep wanting to read it "got yee" but then the song captured me and i noticed how much less it hurts when you know you are not alone

i know this certain kind of sadness you can get addicted to from when we were still together and he did not see me nor hear me just sat arms folded watching me cry unimpressed as if watching a really bad play or a really good actress

they say certain personalities are out of order and stuck in dysfunction and the screws are not loose but rusted and if you try to repair it will all fall apart but i say love conquers all or so i thought

but i knew better then already because it is not about conquering but about making it through shared burdens shared laughs shared joys shared bills shared closets shared skeletons but one shared burden and refused to laugh even when the other shared joy he would hold a grudge and on to stubbornness for it was all the strength he knew

a year ago i, like gautier, was relieved that it was over but it felt like he was still hanging on, clinging, until i noticed he was not for the reasons i was guilt, because he already had replaced me with skinny and titless after dreaming for years of bouncy voluptuousness... but let me not remember so i can pale the blushing and instead remember that she is closer in age to his son and even an agnostic's god may forbid that history repeats itself

to him, i have been someone that he used to know for longer than i can think of but his facebook sports books i gave him and music i took him to but no longer the outdoors and wild places we used to visit and explore and revel in and now walking on the solid flats is all of a sudden dangerous? nor is he feeling ethereal tunes any longer which he labels interesting but on the whole he makes less sense than ever before

so he prepared the table for me or so it appeared and only as i sat down and said grace did i slowly slide into the deep feeding trap fit for a brown bear as he lit the fireworks to highlight my shameless demise amidst dried crumbs of affection and rotten bones of lovely

he dealt three deadly blows in style as iphone turns to sword beheading truth once more, deadheading what was left of a silver berry friendship bowing down to his cunning mistress distress and you may add an apostrophe where you see fit, gentle reader

but let's not forget that i was long gone already and while he might have played his games a year after i left only to hear my forgiveness spoken while he refused his i still am better off just grieving the defunct dream of a life's love lost yet accepting that there are more for i love and adore the human soul and mind and the universe is kind and will provide in time once i can cover this story with a lid and a bow and bow out

already now, after his perfunctory "hello" at the store and the quarter hand wave reserved for railroaders and blue yellow locomotives, it feels like i could have co-written this song for he acted like he forgot my name which is probably true for he can duck and cover his brain and forget the past even though he can't change it

rough it feels, gautier, my friend, rough it feels and raw and slightly insane and sickening and ill in the worst possible way, but like my pride and joy keeps telling me: every day away from this someone we used to know is a step in the right direction


Tuesday, April 3, 2012


swiss slices here are thicker than in europe
manchego is uncheap sheep cheese's lego
for i can build a whole day on a slice of this
viejo queso de la mancha
with a dairy ego and deep peppery tone second to none
not even cambozola
which my dog ate
now wait
for vile winds

Monday, February 20, 2012


layer 1: black

oceanic lava blood
turned to sadness
soft red pebbles wrapped like grapeleaves
of honeycombed abandonment

layer 2: red

fierce chambers of heat
sun's disappointment numbed
by blazing glacial foam
trumpets burning scars
on the yolk of the yoke of my thirst

layer 3: grey

my cellar hides a cave
holds hunger
imprisoned by affection.
can sleep still it
within this tricolor cake?

closure II: unraveling

you left a trail of tears
in the desert of my broken
vision of you
as one
who could live up to
his potential
which i saw

i saw you
the possibilities
of who you are
the gold in your soul
the diamonds in your mind
the bold strength of your body
and the steel wool of your will

loving you
your divine i saw
power to be
who you
mind body soul
can grow into
the you you can become

but some
for whatever reason
don't get to that promised land
soul fulfilled
purpose attained
mind peace imbued
until late in life
their sunset will be sweeter
and more powerful
for it

what did you see
looking at me?

i stood still with you

but now
i have to walk
some more